Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Two words: nipple clamps
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