please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
