The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
