Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
