woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
