She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
