This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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