why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize