its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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