Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.

Fav 4 1675 3372
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(440): View more from Ohio

so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce

Fav 22 3278 1460
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(785): View more from Kansas

He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.

(1-785): View more from Kansas

But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(229): View more from Georgia

dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes

Fav 2 907 1584
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(801): View more from Utah

dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.

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(212): View more from New York

Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.

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