Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
