felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
