what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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