ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  RUDE.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  outsmarted mickey deeeees

  Fav 11 3403 1075

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

  Fav 14 886 2397

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you

  Fav 15 851 2269

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

  Fav 26 1292 4841

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.

  Fav 21 5204 1550

  share tweet
  

• (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

  Fav 24 1296 5995

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (217): View more from Illinois

  Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

  Fav 13 9769 1451

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.

  Fav 13 1052 3079

  share tweet
  

• (912): View more from Georgia

  I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

  Fav 2 1481 964

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."

  Fav 3 2081 1227

  share tweet
  

• (862): View more from New Jersey

  This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.

  Fav 1 531 706

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

  Fav 1 448 730

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?

  Fav 9 850 537

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something

  Fav 1 661 322

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (607): View more from New York

  Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.

  Fav 0 11 37

  share tweet
  

Randomize