Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize