I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
