Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize