I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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