I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
