i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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