never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize