One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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