Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
