He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What a dumb baby whore.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
