Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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