Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
