And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
