have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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