After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
