you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
