dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
