I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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