bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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