I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
