At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
