Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
