Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
