Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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