belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
