apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize