There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
