Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My cat gives me a boner
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All the doctor said was why
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
