My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
