you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
