I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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