Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
