Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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