But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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