If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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