I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
