jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
