i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
