Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize