No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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