First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
