Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
